i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize