I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
