So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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