he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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