Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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