she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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