What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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