Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
