I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
where am i from again
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
