All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
