I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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