would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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