corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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