Little spoons don't ask big questions
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
