Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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