I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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