Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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