theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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