we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize