That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
