If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
