Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
