I'm really into asian looking animals
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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