I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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