Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
As shirtless as possible
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
