she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize