i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
