PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
