no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
