then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
