woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
