I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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