I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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