My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
