So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
