I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
