butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
