i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
