I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
