She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
