there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
