Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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