JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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