You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize