Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
