I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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