Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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