Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
