Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i drank out of a bidet.
Found your dick twin last night
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
