girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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