Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
