Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
