she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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