So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
