I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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