I wish I could teleport
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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