i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
