I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
