I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
