I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
